


I Wish I Reached Out Sooner

by the_gayest_bamtori_here



Series: Beomgyu Hurt/Comfort Fics [2]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Choi Beomgyu is Bangtan's Baby, Choi Beomgyu-Centric, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Supportive Bangtan Boys | BTS, my english teacher would still be disappointed, they still have a couch here because the plot demands it again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:07:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24545119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_gayest_bamtori_here/pseuds/the_gayest_bamtori_here
Summary: Beomgyu has anxiety and has been having anxiety attacks but never told anyone. It was only until he broke down in front of his sunbaenims did he realize he should've said something sooner.
Series: Beomgyu Hurt/Comfort Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769812
Comments: 8
Kudos: 168





	I Wish I Reached Out Sooner

Fear.

We all feel it. In our day to day lives or every so often, we’ve experienced it at some point. For some people, fear consumes their lives and withers them down into a ball of panic and stress. This is basically anxiety.

Beomgyu was no stranger to anxiety, in fact, they were well acquainted. There was always a voice in his head telling him that their fans hated him or think he’s the worst member in TXT. No matter what he tried to tell himself, what the members would say, or what MOA says, he just couldn’t get rid of the voice that echoed since predebut. Constantly telling himself that everyone hates him and always having to monitor himself for mistakes toke a toll on his mental health. Before the release of The Dream Chapter: Magic, was when the anxiety attacks started showing up.

He’s had some in the past but now they were showing up out of nowhere and happened several times throughout the day. If he made too many mistakes during dance practice, he would hide in the closet in the dorm for the rest of the night and shake uncontrollably. Any small incident on stage would have him on the brink of hyperventilating in an empty bathroom stall. Even when he was eating he noticed his heart rate going up and sweat was coming from his palms. He tried his best to stop them from happening, but no amounts of failed breathing exercises and useless positivity would ever make the anxiety attacks any better.

And as much as Beomgyu wanted to tell his members or his manager, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He felt like he would be a bother to them or drag them down because of his pathetic attacks. He didn’t need another reason to feel useless to everyone, so he kept it to himself. That, until one day when he was with his sunbaenims.

-

BTS had finally gotten a couple of days off from practice and were deciding what to do for the next two days. Tae, Jimin, and Namjoon had already decided on hanging out with friends or family. This left Jin, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jungkook to decide what they wanted to do. A lot of places were still closed because of the pandemic, so options were limited. 

“We could…hang out with the kids,” Jungkook had suggested, “we haven’t had much time to hang out with them, especially since their album is going to drop soon. It could be a nice way to get them to calm down.”

“Not a bad idea.” “I haven’t seen the babies in so long.” “But do we even know if they’re free to hang out?”

Yoongi did make a good point. Their schedules were no doubt jammed packed. It would be a miracle if they even had time to sleep or eat, comebacks were no joke.

“Well, it’s worth a try. They’re probably stressed out of their minds and are in desperate need of a relaxing time,” Jungkook said, “we can at least get one of them. Doesn’t matter who it is as long as they are enjoying themselves.”

And with that said, the four of them made their way to TXT’s dorm.

-

They had finally reached the TXT dorm, and they were about to knock on the door when they had realized they didn’t have a plan at all. They were really just pulling up to the boys’ dorm spontaneously when they were probably in the middle of comeback preparations. No location was planned, and they hadn’t warned them ahead of time. UGHHHH THEY WERE SUCH BAD SUNBAENIMS!!!!

They all looked at each other and silently agreed to figure it all out in the car, that’s if they can get the kids to come with them. Yoongi stared at Seokjin and gestured to the door. With a deep breath, Seokjin raised his hand and knocked on the door.

It took a few seconds before they heard the sound of the door unlocking. They watched as the door started opening and they could see half the face of one of the kids, Beomgyu. They could see his eyes widen as he quickly opened the door fully and proceeded to bow towards his seniors.

“Hello, sunbaenims. What brings you here today?”

They all smiled fondly at him. No matter how long they’ve all known each other, TXT always continued to be very formal to them. Maybe they’ll finally realize that they just wanted to be treated as equals, so hopefully that will happen soon.

“Okay stop with that, baby,” Seokjin ruffled his hair and brought him into a hug, “no need to be so formal with us.”

Everyone else came in and hugged Beomgyu. It was nice seeing the little mood maker, but they questioned why they haven’t seen the rest of the members. They all had to have some sort of BTS tracking superpower because they always knew when any of the BTS members were around and would immediately run to greet them, it was actually kinda cute. They looked back to Beomgyu who was a flustered little mess, he was really trying to keep it together and not fanboy.

“Beomgyu, sweetie, where is everyone else?”

“They all went out on a shopping trip. I was going to go but I was tired, so I stayed behind to get some sleep. They probably won’t be back for a while” he yawned the last sentence and the members took the time to actually look at Beomgyu. He wore an oversized long-sleeved shirt (no doubt one of the other members’), a pair of loose-fitting shorts, and he had a bit of bed hair. He was adorable and looked so tiny, despite the fact that he was one of the tallest here.

“Did you need them for something? I can call them if you want” he said as he reached for his phone. 

“Oh no, that’s not needed. Let them have their fun! Besides this way is perfect for the idea I just had,” Jungkook beamed brightly, “ I say we have a movie day! It doesn’t require going into public, it won’t risk getting the virus, and it’s relaxing. What do you guys say?”

All of his members agreed with Jungkook but Beomgyu said nothing. To be honest, he was very overwhelmed with what was happening right now. He just got done having a long nap after having another anxiety attack and now his seniors want to have a movie day with him. Why would they want to have a movie day with him? They’re only doing this because no one else was here and they felt bad, aren’t they? I’m a last option for them.

He really needed to calm down before he gets another attack. When he grounds himself, he looks up to see the hyungs looking at him with curiosity. He realized he was probably looking into space again. They’re going to think he’s a weirdo.

“Um. That does sound nice. Let’s do it” he tried to speak as enthusiastically as he could. He almost cringed at his attempt, but it seemed to satisfy the hyungs. They all went through the dorm and found enough pillows and blankets for all of them. They allowed Beomgyu to be the first to pick his spot on the couch, he ended up on the far right. Jungkook took the opposite, Hoseok claimed the floor with Yoongi, and Seokjin sat close to Beomgyu. They got themselves comfortable and looked through all the movies on Netflix.

It would be a comedy, an animation, a musical, and then a horror film to end it off. Nothing bad happened during the first 3 movies, the films were really funny and beautifully written. The first half of the horror movie was okay, but towards the ending was when it went downhill. Beomgyu had managed to calm down during the movies and was able to enjoy himself. He was okay during the horror until one scene came up. 

In this scene, the main character was getting isolated from his friends and left to deal with the killer himself. Beomgyu doesn’t know why he felt so emotionally connected to that scene, but he was. He couldn’t help but put himself as the main character and his friends as the main character’s friend group. It felt too real for him.

What if he ends up like the main character? What if he loses all of his friends? Do his friends hate him? Would his friends leave him to die? He’s not good enough for them. When will BigHit finally realize that he shouldn’t be here? Are they going to be kicking him out? Is that why they left?

Suddenly, Beomgyu let out a whimper. It was small yet so easy to hear. Seokjin turned his head to see Beomgyu crying waterfalls from his eyes, his breathing was short and quick, he was shaking so hard, and he looked so scared. He’s never seen the boy so distressed before, it was always bashful smiles and happy giggles.   
Seokjin quickly paused the movie and focused all his attention on Beomgyu. The other guys were about to complain until they saw the state their junior was in. The boy kept whimpering uncontrollably. They really needed him to calm down a little so they could help him. Yoongi was holding his hands while Jungkook had him follow along with his breathing. Hoseok and Jin wrapped him in their embrace (with his permission) and whispered comforting words to him.

After around 15 minutes they got Beomgyu to finally settle down. His breathing went back to normal, there was no more whimpering, less shaking, and there were still tears, but he was considerably calmer than he was earlier.

He slumped against Seokjin as the older man combed his fingers through his hair. That attack sucked almost every last bit of energy in him, all he wanted was to sleep.

“Baby,” Seokjin, “can you tell your hyungs what happened?”

Beomgyu doesn’t know why but he started tearing up again.

“I-I’m sorry, hyungs. I didn’t mean to have an attack during the movie, I thought the one earlier was enough for the day. It just happened randomly. Please don’t hate me.”

They watched in silence as he rambled out as many apologies as he could, choking out most of them, and confessed what had been going on for over a year. It crushed them to know one of their juniors was holding such a burden on himself. Jin had enough of this and scooped the youngest into his arms. 

“It’s okay it’s okay,” he tried to soothe him, “everything is going to be alright. I want you to know you are always enough. You should never have to suffer alone; we’ll always be here for you. Talk to me, or any of your hyungs, whenever you feel this way. If you want, we can set you up with our therapist so you can at least have some professional help. We want you to get better, sweetie.’

The others nodded. Beomgyu was absolutely speechless. Ever since his anxiety barged into his life, he always had a hard time feeling loved. He knew he was loved by thousands but that doesn’t mean he ever felt it. This was the first time in a while he was able to feel it.

“Thank you, hyungs. Thank you so much, I really needed to hear that.”

“No problem, baby. Your hyungs will always be there to support you. Now, do you want to continue the movie?”

Beomgyu shook his head

“I don’t think I can handle that right now. Can we watch a Disney movie instead?” 

As if they would say ‘no’ to him. 

They moved all the blankets and pillows to the floor and created a big nest. They laid down in it, made sure Beomgyu was comfortable and looked through the Disney movies. After a lot of arguing, they ended up watching Princess and the Frog. A little while later, the rest of TXT walked through the door with a lot of shopping bags and a lot of food. They were all a bit surprised. A few members from BTS was in their dorm room watching Princess and the Frog, how many people can say this ever happened to them?

The rest of them settled into the nest with the food. There was a calming, safe atmosphere in the room that brought Beomgyu ease. The light chatter and his stomach full of food eventually lured him into a nice sleep. 

Maybe he should’ve said something earlier? That didn’t really matter now. He was here, he’s alive, and surrounded by people who love him.

And that was when everything felt okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Did I just project myself onto Beomgyu? Maybe, a small possibility.   
> Anyway, thank you for reading! More fics will be coming out soon, so look forward to that in the next few weeks. Still learning how to write better.


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